Manliest of Manly Men
by Dragon'sHost
Summary: A collection of Ichiya x Elfman drabble requests, all in one place. Some are NSFW.
1. Chapter 1

**I have decided to compile all of the Ichiya x Elfman requests I get into a separate drabble series. So my main drabble series will not be contaminated. Seriously, why do people keep requesting this pairing? Do you enjoy suffering? (Though I'm not one to talk - I rather enjoy writing it!)**

 **At any rate, I shall gather them into one sin hole. You're welcome.**

 **They will range from fluffy to... bad. As in, very very NSFW.**

 **You have been warned.**

 **That being said... I took pity on y'all. Here is something safe for work.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail**

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 **Prompt: Skydiving AU**

 **I shall leave the requesters anonymous on here. So that they may keep their distance from this (and their own) sin.**

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With the growing popularity of aerial vehicles, so also grew (inevitably) the popularity of the sport in which one launched themselves off of said vehicles with nothing more than a flimsy piece of cloth to prevent them from becoming bloody pulp on the ground. The sport rose rapidly amongst the mage guilds of Fiore in particular - the mages always interested in one-upping their rivals in feats of stupidity and valor.

And of course the manliest manly men of Fairy Tail and Blue Pegasus just had to try it for themselves - a friendly wager breaking out over the anticipated results. Cana and Hibiki jointly ran the betting pool with the greatest of zeal; inciting their guild mates into a froth over who would prove to be the most manly of all.

Although in the end, both participants had to be booted off the edge of the Christina by the Trimens, screaming and clinging to each other. Though they eventually separated and opened their parachutes in plenty of time, they would never be able to live this incident down.

The house took all.


	2. Chapter 2

**So yeah. Here's the sin for you sinners. I'm very certain that this is NOT what the requester had in mind when they requested this. Whoops.**

 **Very NSFW. Also, it's bad. Just... 100% horrible, horrible sin.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail**

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 **Prompt: Angry Kiss**

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Anger manifested in strange ways within Ichiya and Elfman's relationship. Sometimes it sparked a politeness standoff, full of gentlemanly charm and hidden barbs - the navigation of which sent even Ren and Sherry's heads to spinning. At other occasions - when they were angry at others - the use of fists could be expected as their method of handling the problem.

Other times, it found its way into their bedroom.

Like now.

Elfman helped his beloved strip free from his garments, allowing his hands to trail and linger. Ichiya shivered from the caresses, leaning into them and letting out a moan.

"It's been… too long!" Ichiya moaned, reaching for Elfman's pants so that they both might be free. He could already clearly see Elfman's longing in the giant bulge there.

Before he could do anything, Elfman snatched his hands away, and peppered kisses along Ichiya's jawline. "No, let me take care of you first," Elfman said. He ran his large hands down Ichiya's back, and grasped his buttocks, lifting the smaller man. "Our guilds," he growled out, "have kept us apart for long enough. It's been weeks, and I need to have my fill of you."

Then his kisses turned to rough bites, and Ichiya was left squirming under the assault. "M-man!" he cried out, as Elfman ground his clothed member into Ichiya's bare one.

All of Elfman's restrained frustration was inflicted on his lover. Intense kisses were coupled with grasping hands. Elfman wound his way down the older man's body, until finally he was faced with Ichiya's rock-hard shaft.

But, instead of taking the massive cock into his mouth, Elfman began to lay hot, heavy, moist kisses all along it's length. He ran his tongue over the head, a chaste, brief peck bestowed upon it, before laying his lips just beneath it. As he reached the base of the shaft, he took one of Ichiya's balls into his mouth entirely, sucking hard and rubbing his tongue against the hairs. Then he released it will a pop, and bestowed the same attention to the other one.

"N-no more!" Ichiya begged, at his wit's end from all the teasing. "I need… I need… M-man!"

Elfman kissed the inside of Ichiya's thighs, suckling hard at the skin there. "You're at your most manly when you beg," he prompted.

"Finish me like a man!" Ichiya pleaded.

Finally, Elfman relented. He placed the tip of Ichiya's shaft against his lips, giving it another kiss. Then he wrapped those same lips around the head, his teeth grazing and tongue lavishing it with attention.

Ichiya came undone almost immediately, letting out a shout and thrusting into Elfman's mouth as he shot ropes of pearlescent, viscous fluids into Elfman's mouth.

Swallowing it, Elfman released his lover and crawled back up his exhausted, panting form. Then he kissed Ichiya roughly again. "Just like a real man."


	3. Chapter 3

**I still love this pairing so goddamn much, in case any of y'all forgot. After a long absence, I am here to bring you Ichielf once more! My roommate helped out a little with the idea for this one (though she declined to proofread for me).**

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 _ **Prompt: Poker Face**_

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Lady Luck was definitely not on Elfman's side tonight. Truth be told, he could count one hand the number of times she _had_ been, but tonight was not looking to be one of those rare occasions. He'd at least thought that the constant practice against Cana would prepare him for one poker match in good fun, but that, too, was a mistake on his part.

Right now, the "friendly" poker tournament between Fairy Tail and Blue Pegasus was anything but. Cana was cleaning out the competition for the most part, and on the other side Hibiki wasn't about to be outdone. General consensus was that the pair were cheating – Cana through tricks and Hibiki through card counting – but as no one had been able to prove it just yet, they were still going strong in their respective guilds' honor.

Elfman was one of the few players not out already, but that was largely due to the fact that his opponent was as equally horrible at poker and just as ill-fated as himself. In fact, they were still the other's first opponent of the evening. Some would have called that good luck, but Elfman would have to disagree. It was horribly embarrassing, to see everyone else either out of the running or moving onto other opponents.

"I'm bored!" Cana shrieked into the tense atmosphere, causing Elfman to wince horribly at the volume. "Let's make this more fun, and up the stakes a little!"

Her opponent, Jenny Realight, eyed her warily. "I'm not against making it more interesting or upping the stakes, but what exactly did you have in mind?"

A devious grin crossed the brunette's face, causing most of her guildmates to shudder, even before the words had fully left her mouth. " _Strip Poker_."

The rest of the Fairy Tail participants groaned. The number of times Cana had managed to turn a game of regular poker into strip poker was truly astronomical. And so was the number of times she had come out on top with all of her clothes still on her (her unfortunate match against Bacchus aside).

However, the Blue Pegasus mages didn't know better. Or perhaps didn't care. More likely the second than the first.

A wicked grin spread across Jenny's face. "Oh, that sounds like fun!" she declared. "You're after my own heart!"

"She's after your clothes!" Freed warned her with a shake of his head.

Jenny seemed intent on repeating her mistake with Mira all over again. "I accept! What about the rest of you?"

There was no dissent among the Blue Pegasus mages, so the remaining Fairy Tail members had to accept the new condition and comply.

Elfman's next hand immediately came up bad. Sweat started pouring down his face, which his opponent picked up on with ease.

"I'd say you just got something very unfortunate," Ichiya informed him, the man's smooth voice sending ripples of further unease throughout Elfman's entire body. "I'm going to increase my bet."

When Elfman's hand was revealed at the end, he was forced to remove his jacket. Then, on the next round, he had to discard his shirt as well.

This new condition was completely wreaking his already lackluster poker face!

And then, suddenly he noticed something. His opponent was no longer drawing and discarding with confidence. In fact, his hand was downright shaking. Elfman raised his gaze to Ichiya's, who then immediately looked away and blushed furiously.

"Y-you're completely indecent, maaaaan."

It seemed that Elfman's poker face wasn't the only one destroyed by this.

"A real man strips without fear!" Elfman declared, his own confidence suddenly resored.

The proclamation was like an arrow straight through Ichiya's heart. "I cannot back down from a challenge with such a wonderful _parfume!_ " the man responded, focusing intently on his cards once more.

(A shriek resounded through the guild as Jenny's mistake came to its inevitable conclusion, but neither man took notice of it.)

Given how horrible the pair were at the game, it wasn't too many rounds before both were stark naked, and still locked in stalemate. So intent on their game, they failed to notice that everyone else had finished up and gone home.

The next morning, Mirajane came in to prepare for the next day, only to discover the two naked men curled up on the floor together, where they had fallen asleep in the midst of their contest.

She immediately passed out.


End file.
